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Recently, I had a profound conversation with a client that brought into focus the intricate ways we navigate cultural identity, oppression, and self-expression. She identifies as Jewish and shared an experience at a Middle Eastern restaurant. Her partner, wearing a kippah, drew her into an overwhelming sense of anxiety. The cultural climate and rising challenges facing Jewish people had left her feeling exposed and unsafe.

As we explored her emotions, I noticed something striking in how she spoke about her identity. It was as if she had internalized the voice of an oppressor, policing her own Jewishness to avoid discomfort or judgment. Her words reflected a struggle many of us face: managing how much of ourselves to reveal, particularly in spaces where we fear rejection, hostility, or worse.

This interaction sparked a deeper realization, connecting to a framework I use in therapy. In my work with couples, I often draw from transactional analysis, which I have adapted and suggests we all carry an internal critical parent, teenager, child, and wise adult. However, I began to see how this model could evolve in the context of oppression and privilege. Instead of just these relational archetypes, I recognized four parts within each of us that shape how we experience discrimination and multicultural dynamics:

1. The Internalized Oppressor

This part of us mirrors the dominant culture’s gaze, policing our behavior to fit societal norms and avoid conflict. It’s the voice that says, “Don’t be too much of yourself here; it’s safer to blend in.” This voice is born of fear and seeks to protect us, but often at the cost of our authenticity.

2. The Internal Protester

This is our inner advocate, the part that resists conformity and fights for our right to exist as our full selves. It is bold, reactive, and protective, challenging the internalized oppressor’s attempts to stifle our identity.

3. The Oppressed Child

At our core lies the most vulnerable part of us—the oppressed child. This part holds our innocence, our wounds, and our deepest feelings. It’s the seat of our emotional experience, longing for safety and connection.

4. The Liberated Adult

The liberated adult integrates the voices of the oppressor, protester, and child into a balanced, nurturing, and wise presence. This part of us is assertive without being reactive, protective without stifling, and open without being overly vulnerable. It has clarity, compassion, and confidence, enabling us to approach the world with curiosity and connection.

This is the part that says:

• “I see where my fear comes from, but I choose to lead with authenticity.”
• “I will advocate for myself without letting anger consume me.”
• “I will honor my wounds but not let them define me.”

Linking the Internal Landscape to the Body

As I reflected on this framework, I was reminded of another concept I teach in my cultural effectiveness training: the “three brains” of the body—cranial, gut, and heart. Each brain serves as a center of intelligence, and I saw clear parallels between these physiological brains and the internalized dynamics of oppression:

• The Cranial Brain (Internalized Oppressor):
  The cranial brain, often associated with masculine energy, oversees logic, control, and regulation. It aligns with the internalized oppressor, which observes, critiques, and attempts to maintain order in the face of perceived danger.
• The Gut Brain (Internal Protester):
  The gut brain, rooted in embodiment and feminine energy, is instinctive and reactive. It houses the internal protester, driving our fight for self-preservation and advocacy when we feel threatened or silenced.
• The Heart Brain (Oppressed Child):
  The heart brain is the most vulnerable and connective part of us, much like the oppressed child. It allows us to experience empathy, love, and belonging but also holds our deepest wounds from oppression and marginalization.
• Integration Across the Three Brains (Liberated Adult):
  The liberated adult harmonizes the cranial, gut, and heart brains, allowing us to act with wisdom, intuition, and connection. It’s the part of us that leads with clarity and integrates these centers of intelligence to navigate cultural challenges with grace and authenticity.

Building Bridges Through Integration

This framework reveals a powerful truth: healing and connection come when these parts of ourselves work in harmony. The internalized oppressor, though often misguided, seeks to protect us. When it collaborates with the protester’s courage, the child’s openness, and the adult’s wisdom, we can navigate cultural differences with authenticity and grace.

Imagine this balance in action: The oppressor sets boundaries for safety, the protester ensures those boundaries don’t stifle authenticity, the child remains open to connection, and the adult brings it all together with clarity and compassion. Together, these parts empower us to bridge divides, fostering understanding and empathy across cultural lines.

A Call to Reflect

This conversation with my client reminded me that we all carry these dynamics within us. They shape how we respond to oppression, privilege, and cultural challenges. By becoming aware of our internalized oppressor, nurturing our protester, protecting our inner child, and strengthening our liberated adult, we can reclaim our authenticity and build deeper, more meaningful connections with others.

So, I invite you to reflect:

• How does your internalized oppressor show up in your life?
• In what ways does your inner protester advocate for your authentic self?
• What does your oppressed child need to feel safe, seen, and connected?
• How can you nurture your liberated adult to lead with wisdom, compassion, and balance?

Healing begins with awareness, and through this awareness, we can foster both personal and collective transformation. Together, let’s work to create spaces where all parts of us—our oppressor, protester, child, and adult—can coexist in harmony, helping us connect and thrive across our differences.